When you’ve spent years relying on “just one glass” to unwind, it can feel almost impossible to imagine life without alcohol. For many women—especially busy, high-achieving moms—drinking becomes woven into routines, social plans, even identity.
In her powerful feature on Going Fit Unfit, certified coach Julie Lively explains why it’s not a lack of willpower that keeps you stuck in old patterns with alcohol—it’s your brain’s wiring. And even more importantly, she shares how neuroplasticity gives you the ability to gently, intentionally rewire those patterns so you can truly thrive alcohol-free or alcohol-light.
This article highlights the key ideas from her Going Fit Unfit feature and invites you to read the full piece for a deeper dive into how your brain can become your greatest ally in change.
👉 Read the full article here:
How Neuroplasticity Helps You Thrive Without Alcohol
From “Bad Habit” to “Brain Pattern”
Most women talk about drinking in terms of “good” and “bad” habits—or feeling “strong” and “weak.” Julie invites you to drop that moral lens and look at what’s really happening:
Your brain has simply learned a pattern.
- Stress → Drink
- Loneliness → Drink
- Celebration → Drink
- End of day → Drink
Over time, your brain links alcohol to relief, reward, and connection. Those neural pathways get stronger every time you repeat the pattern. That’s why the urge can feel so automatic—almost like it’s happening to you.
Julie explains that this isn’t a character flaw; it’s basic neuroscience. The same brain processes that allowed you to learn to drive, parent, work, and multitask… also learned to associate wine, beer, or cocktails with feeling better.
The game-changer? Neuroplasticity—your brain’s lifelong ability to change, grow new connections, and weaken old ones.
What Is Neuroplasticity—and Why It Gives You Hope
In simple terms, neuroplasticity means:
Your brain changes in response to what you repeatedly think, feel, and do.
Julie breaks this down into three hopeful truths:
- Old alcohol patterns are not permanent
The pathways that make drinking feel automatic were built by repetition—so they can be unbuilt by new repetition. - Every small choice sends your brain a signal
Each time you respond to stress, boredom, or celebration in a new way, you’re literally teaching your brain a different association. - You don’t have to “white-knuckle” forever
As new pathways strengthen, what once felt like a struggle starts to feel more natural, even easy. This is why many women eventually describe their alcohol-free life as peaceful rather than effortful.
Instead of trying to “fight” your brain, Julie encourages you to work with it—using the science of neuroplasticity as a roadmap for lasting change.
How Alcohol Hijacks the Reward System
Julie’s article explains that alcohol taps into your brain’s reward circuitry, releasing dopamine and giving a quick—but temporary—sense of relief or pleasure.
Over time, this can create a few key shifts:
- You reach for alcohol more quickly when you feel stressed or tired
- Other forms of pleasure (a walk, a book, a bath) feel “not enough”
- You may need more alcohol to feel the same effect
- Your brain becomes hyper-focused on when you’ll drink next
This is how a “harmless” habit slowly becomes a cycle that’s hard to break. Julie normalizes this experience—especially for moms who’ve spent years juggling careers, caregiving, and household responsibilities.
The empowering piece is that the same reward system can be reshaped. With intention and consistency, your brain can learn to light up for other forms of relief and pleasure that actually support your long-term wellbeing.
Rewiring Your Brain: Practical Steps Julie Recommends
Julie doesn’t just explain the science; she offers practical, compassionate strategies you can start using right away to build new patterns. Here are a few highlights inspired by her Going Fit Unfit feature:
1. Get Curious About Your Triggers
Instead of judging yourself when you want to drink, Julie encourages you to notice:
- What just happened?
- What am I actually feeling—tired, stressed, lonely, anxious, bored?
- What am I hoping this drink will do for me?
That curiosity creates a pause. And in that pause, you regain choice—a crucial moment for neuroplastic change.
2. Pair the Urge with a New Response
Your goal isn’t to “never feel the urge”; it’s to respond differently when the urge arises.
Some new responses might include:
- Going for a quick walk or stretching
- Making a favorite alcohol-free drink
- Journaling for five minutes
- Calling or texting a supportive friend
- Using a breathing or grounding exercise
Each time you choose one of these instead of pouring a drink, you’re teaching your brain a new pathway:
Stress → Walk → Relief
Loneliness → Connection → Comfort
Repeated often enough, those new pathways can become your brain’s preferred route.
3. Celebrate Every Small Win
Julie emphasizes that your brain notices what you focus on. When you celebrate your wins—skipping a drink, delaying it, or drinking less—you reinforce the belief: “I can change.”
That belief itself strengthens new neural pathways and makes future changes easier.
4. Build a Vision for Your Alcohol-Lighter Life
In her work and features (including her article on A Nation of Moms about intentional living after “wine o’clock”), Julie invites women to think beyond simply “not drinking.” She asks:
- How do you want to feel in your body?
- What kind of energy do you want each morning?
- How do you want to show up in your relationships?
- What do you want this next chapter of life to be about?
Having a compelling vision gives your brain a reason to embrace new habits. It becomes less about restriction and more about who you’re becoming.
Why This Matters So Much for Moms and Midlife Women
Julie’s message is especially relevant for:
- Moms who’ve long used alcohol to cope with the nonstop demands of family life
- Empty nesters navigating a new identity and more unstructured time
- Women in perimenopause or menopause, who often find alcohol hits harder and worsens sleep, anxiety, and mood
- High-achieving women who feel “successful on paper” but quietly stuck in their relationship with alcohol
By centering neuroplasticity, Julie removes the shame and replaces it with science, compassion, and practical hope. This continues the conversation she’s having across platforms—from A Nation of Moms to Going Fit Unfit—about living more intentionally and fully awake in midlife and beyond.
Thriving Without Alcohol: A New Normal Is Possible
The heart of Julie Lively’s Going Fit Unfit feature is this:
You are not broken. Your brain is adaptable. And you can absolutely create a life that feels rich, calm, and deeply satisfying without relying on alcohol.
Through understanding neuroplasticity, you learn that:
- Cravings are learned signals, not commands
- New routines and rituals can become just as automatic as pouring a drink
- Your brain is capable of change at any age
- Freedom from old patterns is not only possible—it’s expected when you work with how your brain naturally functions
If you’re curious about how to use brain science to reshape your relationship with alcohol, Julie’s full article on Going Fit Unfit is a powerful, encouraging read. It blends science, story, and practical tools in a way that feels both accessible and deeply validating.
👉 Read the full feature here:
How Neuroplasticity Helps You Thrive Without Alcohol