Why So Many Moms Are Choosing Intentional Living Over “Wine O’Clock”
When you’ve spent years in the thick of motherhood—school schedules, carpools, late-night homework, endless laundry—“wine o’clock” can feel like the one moment that’s truly yours. It’s marketed as the reward you’ve earned, the shortcut to relaxation, the cultural badge of survival.
But what happens when life shifts, the house gets quieter, and that nightly glass of wine doesn’t feel as comforting as it used to?
In a powerful feature on A Nation of Moms, coach and writer Julie Lively explores this exact question and offers a refreshing, compassionate look at what it means to live more intentionally in midlife. Her article speaks directly to moms—especially empty nesters and women navigating perimenopause or menopause—who are starting to wonder if there might be a better way to feel good than pouring another glass.
You can read her full piece here:
👉 A Mom’s Guide to Intentional Living After Wine O’Clock
Below is an overview of the ideas Julie shares, and why her message is resonating with so many women.
From “Wine O’Clock” to “What Now?”
In the feature, Julie zooms in on a moment many moms know well: the kids need you less, the rush of family life slows down, and evenings that were once chaotic are suddenly…quiet.
That quiet can feel like:
- Relief
- Loss
- Confusion
- A strange mix of all three
For years, a glass (or two) of wine may have been the go-to way to transition from “on duty” to “off duty.” But as Julie points out, when the rhythm of daily life changes, it’s natural to start questioning whether this ritual is actually helping—or quietly getting in the way.
Instead of treating “wine o’clock” as a harmless joke or inevitable part of mom life, Julie invites women to look more closely at what’s really going on beneath it:
- Is this genuinely relaxing me—or just numbing me?
- Am I waking up feeling restored—or foggy and disappointed?
- Is this habit aligned with the woman I’m becoming in this next chapter?
Her approach is never shaming or extreme. It’s about curiosity, awareness, and choice.
Why So Many Moms Are Rethinking Their Relationship with Alcohol
Julie highlights a growing realization among women: what once felt like a stress reliever often becomes a source of more stress over time.
Alcohol might temporarily:
- Take the edge off a difficult day
- Distract from loneliness or uncertainty
- Create a false sense of connection or celebration
But over the long term, many moms are noticing that drinking can actually:
- Heighten anxiety
- Disrupt sleep
- Drain energy
- Deepen feelings of isolation
In the emotional swirl of the empty nest years—mixed with the intensity of midlife changes—those effects are amplified. Julie’s feature reflects what she hears from many women: they want to feel more like themselves, not less. And they’re realizing that alcohol isn’t helping them get there.
Midlife, Menopause, and Why Your Body Handles Alcohol Differently Now
One of the most eye-opening parts of Julie’s feature is her explanation of how a woman’s body changes in midlife—and why that makes alcohol hit harder than it once did.
She breaks down several key shifts that happen around perimenopause and menopause, including:
- Decreased alcohol-processing enzymes
As we age, our bodies produce less of the enzyme that helps break down alcohol. That means the same amount of wine can lead to stronger effects and a longer-lasting impact than it did in our 30s. - Slower metabolism overall
A naturally slowing metabolism means alcohol lingers in the system longer, contributing to more noticeable hangovers, fatigue, and brain fog. - Changes in body composition
With shifts in muscle and body water content, alcohol becomes more concentrated in the bloodstream—even if you haven’t increased how much you drink. - Hormone fluctuations
The rollercoaster of estrogen and progesterone doesn’t just affect mood and hot flashes. It also changes how alcohol feels in your body, often intensifying anxiety, night sweats, sleep disruption, and emotional ups and downs.
Layer on top of that the long-term health risks—like increased concerns around liver health, heart health, certain cancers, and cognitive decline—and it’s no surprise that many high-achieving, midlife women are stepping back and re-evaluating.
Julie frames this not as a scare tactic, but as an invitation to make choices that fully support the next 30–40 years of life.
Intentional Living: Filling the Space with What Truly Feeds You
If wine isn’t the answer to how you relax and reset…what is?
Julie doesn’t just tell moms what to stop doing—she turns the spotlight on what they can start doing instead. She talks about intentionally creating evenings and routines that actually restore you, rather than deplete you.
Some of the intentional shifts she encourages include:
- Creating soothing nighttime rituals
Think herbal tea, a favorite chair, soft lighting, journaling, baths, or a few minutes of breathing or meditation. The key is to design a ritual that feels like genuine care, not escape. - Rediscovering passions and hobbies
With more time and space, this is a powerful moment to return to what lights you up—reading, travel planning, learning, art, music, gardening, or even launching a new project or business. - Making wellness a real priority
Gentle movement, yoga, walking, strength training, time outdoors—these are the kinds of practices that actually build resilience instead of borrowing energy from tomorrow. - Connecting with other women
Julie acknowledges the loneliness many empty nest moms feel and encourages building new circles: book clubs, community events, volunteer work, or intentional online groups. - Setting goals for this new chapter
Instead of seeing empty nesting as an “ending,” Julie encourages women to see it as a beginning: Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? What do you want the next season of life to feel like?
The Real Benefits of an Alcohol-Free (or Alcohol-Lighter) Life
Julie’s message isn’t only about what you might avoid by changing your drinking habits—it’s also about what you stand to gain.
Women who step away from “wine o’clock” often report:
- Deeper, more restorative sleep
- Clearer thinking and better focus
- More stable moods and less anxiety
- Stronger sense of self-trust and confidence
- A fuller presence in their relationships and daily life
Most importantly, Julie emphasizes the sense of empowerment that comes from aligning your habits with your values. Instead of letting cultural messages about “mommy wine culture” dictate what evenings look like, women are reclaiming that time in ways that feel intentional, nourishing, and genuinely relaxing.
Celebrating Julie Lively’s Message of Freedom and Intention
This feature on A Nation of Moms beautifully showcases what Julie Lively is all about: honest conversations, compassionate guidance, and practical tools for women who are ready to feel fully awake and engaged in their own lives.
Her perspective is especially powerful for:
- Empty nest moms navigating identity shifts
- Women in perimenopause or menopause
- High-achieving women who suspect alcohol is quietly holding them back
- Anyone craving a more intentional, grounded, and joyful way of living
If you’re curious about life beyond “wine o’clock” and want to feel less foggy, more present, and more you, Julie’s article is a thoughtful, encouraging place to start.
👉 Read the full feature on A Nation of Moms here:
A Mom’s Guide to Intentional Living After Wine O’Clock